Saturday, August 6, 2011


A couple blocks away from my apartment is a live poultry farm where you can choose the poultry you want to eat later on. Well one particularly lovely night my friend Tom was walking me home and we could see a group of people sitting on a bench staring at us. As we turned the corner we stopped in our tracks when we stumbled upon this:

After all the viewers on the bench laughed their butts off the best line I heard was: "That chicken be waiting for a cab!"

Big News and Changes!

So it's called "Harlem Pick-Up Line of the Day" and I'm still going to be living in Harlem, technically, but I'm moving to the east side. So expect a lot more "Mami's" involved in my conversations. Good news as well! I bought a domain name so I'll have running shortly. It'll be easier for everyone to pass along the site and hopefully inspire some more followers :) Here's what I've encountered most recently, I must say, the heat of NYC must be stinting creativity, which is slightly disappointing.

August 4th- "Hello, I kiss for money!"

August 4th- "You got pretty feet, baby!"

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Most Awkward Pick-Up of All Time (at least in my opinion)

Rather than explain it completely I’ll give you some background and then dialogue it out.

Whenever I go to work at the restaurant I try to eat as much as I can before my shift so I won’t eat there. So on this particular day I had some string cheese and began to eat it on the subway platform…

Cheezy Sir: Wow, I haven’t seen string cheese in forever.

Martha: Yeah, you can get it at Costco.

Cheezy: There’s a Costco in Manhattan?

Martha: Yeah, on the East side, past 1st Ave around 117th.

Cheezy: Look at that! You’re teaching me something new!

Martha: That’s cool.

Cheezy: I haven’t seen string cheese since the 80’s.

Martha: I mean, I don’t think it ever went out of style. Kids eat it all the time.

Cheezy: Well I haven’t seen a kid in like 15 years.

Martha: hmmm.

Cheezy: So where are you going?

Martha: To work. And actually…

Cheezy: This is your train?

Martha: Yeah.

Cheezy: Well, I think you are adorable. Like so adorable. Is there anyway I could get your number?

Martha: Actually I don’t have a card or anything, sorry!

I safely got on the train and it's slow departure was surely to torture me. Ugh.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

More words from the D

Poor Olivia. Always dealing with the crazies.

"Baby, are you a body builder?"

And my personal favorite, shout-out to the Rents for this one!

"I just wanna let you know, you a very pretty girl. But I guess that's your momma and daddy's work isn't it? You tell them from me- they done gooood work."


Our Youth Today

My friend, Krystal, from work is a hottie. So much so that a 12 year old boy said "Damn girl! I wanna muscle-brain you!"

What in god's name do they teach in New York public schools?

Back in Action!

Sorry for the delay between posts. I was working my ass off in preparation for a vacation to Chicago where I dealt with much more subtle "pick-up" lines in the form of gaping stares. Awesome. But here's a line I got right before leaving for vacation and another that I experienced today.

Man: Hey shorty, you got a nice body. Can I go with you?

Me: Gotta go to work!

Man: That's alright! I'll go witchu!

"You are gorgeous, no disrespect."

Followed by something about my ass...

Friday, June 24, 2011

Detroit Pick-Up Line of the Day

As experienced by my sister, Olivia:

"Wooo girl, you could run to Africa with those legs! Mm-hmm!"

"Run, Bitch, Run!" (meant as a pick-up line, really creative if you ask me.)